Motherhood- Embracing the Bittersweet

Motherhood. Nothing can prepare you for it. It is a journey filled with moments that bring joy, challenge, and deep reflection, often intertwined with a bittersweet quality.

Do you remember the first time you held your baby? Of course you do.

Everything slowed and then stopped as you looked at this tiny little person you had been so excited to meet.

Maybe your baby cried, loud and clear, announcing to the world that they had arrived. Maybe it was quiet, and a deep sense of knowing washed over you as you thought, “Of course it’s you. There you are.”

Or maybe your baby came into the world in a flurry of movement, with NICU staff rushing in and out of the room, leaving you only the briefest moment to see your baby for the first time.

No matter how your baby came into the world, you will never forget the feeling of total and complete love and awe the first time you laid eyes on them.

“Motherhood is the quiet miracle of being stretched and softened at the same time — a heart learning to hold more than it ever thought it could.” -unknown

In the days and weeks that followed that first meeting, you had time to think about who this tiny person was and who they would become. Would they be outgoing or cautious? Athletic or studious? Willful and stubborn or easygoing and compliant? In those early days, you had time to wonder and wish and plan and say, “When they are older, I bet they will be…”

Watching Your Baby Grow: Pride and Letting Go

The days turn into weeks, then months, then years. And then, just like that, you blink, and your baby is a toddler. They are mobile and into everything, finding new ways to leave a trail of chaos in their wake on a daily basis.

You still find yourself imagining and wondering who they will become.

And then there is a moment when they become. A moment where they say, in their own way, “I am.”

They start becoming their own person with their own wants, interests, and desires — and it turns out it is nothing like what you imagined or planned for. It’s them, already beginning to distinguish themselves, separate from you.

Again, days become weeks, then months, then years. You are faced with a new version of your child. Older. More self‑assured. More confident in who they are, what they like, and who they want to be.

Everyday Moments

Every day they grow — testing their limits (and yours!), figuring out who they want to be and who they already, innately, are at their core.

You experience pride in their achievements. You marvel at their accomplishments. You cheer them on when they succeed and soothe and encourage them when they don’t.

"Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory." -Dr. Seuss

For every milestone met, there is an overwhelming sense of love and pride — but also of loss, because your child needs you just a little bit less.

They are so busy growing into themselves, and you are constantly running to catch up, that you don’t realize that there will be a last time for things. How could you? Your child’s need for you seems to be endless, and your ability to give of yourself feels boundless.

But it happens. There is a point every mother reaches — and it is different for us all — when you realize you’ve had several “lasts” alongside your “firsts.”

The last time you breastfeed.

The last time you spoon‑feed your baby.

The last diaper you ever change (okay, let’s be honest — no one misses this). The last time you use a stroller.

The last time you help put on shoes or get them dressed.

The last time you rock your baby to sleep at night.

While your heart aches for those tender moments — those silent “lasts” that whispered their way past you without you realizing it — you are grateful that you had them at all. A part of you will always long to revisit those "last moments" one more time, but you recognize that you were blessed enough to have both the firsts and the lasts, because it means your child is growing and thriving.

So, take it in mamma. Those truly meaningful moments. The ones found in the quiet of the nursery and a rocking chair. In a small hand, held while your child explores the world around them. In first steps. In quiet mornings. In cuddles, kisses, and books read at bedtime with damp hair that smells like your baby nestled against your chest. They are in smiles, laughter, and love. Gather these moments to you like a bouquet of wildflowers, beautiful and untamed like your child, and drink it in. There will always be firsts with our children, and there will also be lasts.

Time is indeed a thief, but those moments, those memories, the pride‑filled firsts and the bittersweet lasts will never fade or be lost. They are etched on your heart, just like the first time you saw your baby.